The celibate life.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my future, and where I want to go, and what I want to do. I know I want to do something with art. Whether it be graphic design, photography, whatever. Something along those lines would suit me well, I think.
Or, I would like to do something with public relations. For example, club openings, celebrity parties, etc. I think that would be a blast, and I would be great at that. Moving to LA will help me achieve those goals, I already know it.
As for moving on, I don’t really know where I stand at my current job. I know I do above the average, but it just doesn’t feel like I’m getting the recognition that I feel like I deserve. I know I should be moving up, but whether it be personal differences, grudges, etc, whatever it is, has kept me back, and is setting me up for failure. Something I wont have.
So, I really don’t know what I want to do, I love working with the people that I converse with, but others I don’t really care to see everyday. I’m thinking about my last day. I don’t know if I should be publicly telling everyone at work, but whatever. I am honest, and thats how I live. I’m thinking July 11th, a month from tomorrow. We’ll see though, this is about the 10th time I’ve actually thought about leaving. I’m just so stressed out from everything that has been going on lately, my mind is in limbo state to process anything more.
I’m starting to find little things that help motivate me again, and are keeping me alive. If I didn’t, I would be miserable, forever. It’s hard though, when someone who helps motivate you is gone, it’s hard to start on your own. I find myself spending money left and right to help get my mind off of things, and to relieve some stress. On top of it, I’ve been searching for ideas, listening carefully to lyrics, and finding stuff inside of me for the tattoo I am getting for Kevin. I want it to be perfect, because I wont settle for less, especially him. I need a vacation.
5 months ago